A few evenings later after Sno was diagnosed, my husband and I sat down on the couch together and went through her diagnostic criteria. And it was here that we discovered so many of her quirks were the same as his.
We had been together for seven years by that point. Seven years of being in love, parenting together and living together. We’d only ever had three nights away from each other. Then all the pieces began to fall into place. The reasons behind his social overload and only ever wanting to go out one weekend day now both made sense, along with his exhaustion from talking to people. Even down to the specific way he liked to organize the pantry (hey, who was I to interrupt such beautiful methodology?). We chuckled over just how many things we had automatically adapted to without even noticing.
A few months later my husband went and had formal assessments done and received his official diagnosis at age 30. He greeted it with grief, but also relief.